This whole saga started because my kitchen table was drowning in seed packets. I had way too many seeds sitting in their delivery boxes, my cats were trying to chew their way into them like tiny raccoons in fur coats, and my partner was one cardboard corner away from staging an intervention. So I decided to organize everything into mason jars with silica packs like a responsible adult.

And then I saw the squash and zucchini packets.

Cue the emotional damage.

I recently lost my first round of squash and zucchini to squash vine borers. I got one adorable crooked‑neck squash before the little jerks took the whole plant out. I didn’t even get to try a zucchini. So while I was sitting there sorting seeds, I started wondering:

• Is it too late to try again
• Also: I’m bored
• Also also: I refuse to be defeated by bugs

So I asked AI what I could start indoors today and still grow in my backyard during the brutal Austin summer.

And… YES! SOMETHING! Herbs! Tomatoes! Peppers! F* yeah, this is rad.

The Seed‑Starting Setup (aka: I’m Guessing, Please Don’t Judge Me)

I spent about four hours asking AI pretty much step‑by‑step what to do:

• What soil mixture should I use
• How full do I fill the cells
• Do I tap down
• How many seeds
• Where do I drop them
• How much do I cover them
• Do I tap down again
• Do I water
• How do I make this humidity dome thingy work
• Why does it keep cycling on and off once it’s plugged in

(Answer: the charging block I was using for the USB wasn’t strong enough to power the grow lights. Cue another panic Amazon buy – a surge protector with USB ports – followed by an actual solution that didn’t require the thing I bought. But I kept it anyway because who doesn’t need a spare surge protector.)

I grabbed some clear Bonnie nursery pots from Lowe’s, which I now know are way better than those tiny seed cells that dry out if you breathe near them. I mixed up a seed‑starting blend. Did I research it? No. I asked AI and went with whatever it said because it sounded confident.

I planted the seeds. I put them on the heat mat. I waited.

And then they got… tall. Like, very tall. Like, “are you trying to reach the ceiling fan?” tall.

AI: “Oh yeah, those are super leggy.”

Thank you, Captain Hindsight.

So I moved them under my gooseneck grow lights with a timer and added a tiny fan because apparently plants need “wind workouts.” Sure. Why not.

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Day 3: The Baby Seed Incubators

I am germinating:

• rosemary
• sage
• catnip (the cats say nom nom nom)
• jalapeño
• serrano
• NM Big Jim Heritage
• NM Joe E. Parker
• yellow bell peppers
• roma
• san marzano
• pineapple tomato
• green zebra
• berkeley tie‑dye

I am so excited I have to stop myself from obsessing over their care.

Case in point: I went to clear the condensation from the domes today and noticed the perlite had little orange specks.

Holy crap — contaminated? Moldy? All my efforts wasted?

But nope. Turns out that’s normal.

Science corner: Orange specks on perlite are usually harmless mineral staining or biofilm caused by warm humidity + condensation. Totally normal. Not mold. Not contamination. Not a seedling killer.

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Day 4: We have an elbow!

One of the cells has sprouted an elbow! I think it’s a San Marzano tomato! Okay, but now I’m totally freaked that this little guy is an overachiever and all the others are lazy AF and while waiting for them, he may get a little unruly. Or dead.

But hey! An elbow!

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Day 5: Holy Cow – That’s a Lot Overnight

What you see on Day 4 is what we saw when we went to bed last night.

And… this is what we saw when we woke up.

Right?!

So now I have pulled this tray off the heating mat, took off the dome, and put them under the grow lights.

Grow little buddies! I want to eat you!